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Editor of 'Thought & Humor'
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offices, dorms & homes worldwide since July 26,1997).


Word Quiz 2.23.6

1. swashbuckling (adj.) - A: daring. B: idealistic.
C: drably dressed. D: romantic.

2. competent (adj.) - A: agreeable. B: inept. C: vigorous.
D: competent.

3. spritz (n.) - A: boat's sail. B: bubble. C: squirt.
D: overhanging rock.

4. omnibus (adj.) - A: threatening. B: all-embracing.
C: round and full. D: slow-moving.

5. ingenuity (n.) - A: innocence. B: cleverness. C: appeal.
D: deceitfulness.

6. canon (n.) - A: barrier. B: noisy gathering. C: guiding
principle. D: bishop.

7. parlance (n.) - A: gossip. B: small family room.
C: witticism. D: manner of speaking.

8. muster (v.) - A: to assemble. B: relieve. C: challenge.
D: spread around.

9. personable (adj.) - A: intimate. B: cheerful. C: attract-
ive. D: superficial.

10. concave (adj.) - A: curving outward. B: oval-shaped.
C: collapsing. D: curving inward.

11. infatuation (n.) - A: sense of security. B: aversion.
C: temporary passion. D: feeling of superiority.

12. forfeit (v.) - A: to exchange. B: give up something.
C: shield from harm. D: pull back.

13. query (v.) - A: to question. B: look over thoroughly.
C: follow through. D: act peculiarly.

14. intergalactic (adj.) - A: extremely fast. B: subatomic.
C: radioactive. D: between star systems.

15. steadfast (adj.) - A: slow but sure. B: strong.
C: friendly. D: unwavering.

16. permutation (n.) - A: alteration. B: permission.
C: stable combination. D: seepage.

17. rookery (n.) - A: gambling spot. B: children's play-
ground. C: animal breeding place. D: camping area.

18. ransack (v.) - A: to run wild. B: destroy completely.
C: do things haphazardly. D: search thoroughly.

19. infamous (adj.) - A: somewhat annoying. B: unknown.
C: simple and unassuming. D: having a bad reputation.

20. inkling (n.) - A: blemish. B: small object. C: slight
indication. D: assumption.














Here are the answers:

1. swashbuckling - A: Recklessly daring; daredevilish;
swaggering; as, an old Errol Flynn swashbuckling film about
pirates. English swash (splashing water) and buckler (shield).

2. competent - D: Capable; well-qualified; as, A competent
mechanic is a blessing. Latin competere (to be suitable).

3. spritz - C: Squirt or spray; as, A quick spritz of this
or that will not eliminate termites. German spritzen (to

4. omnibus - B: All-embracing; covering many items; as, An
omnibus bill in Congress includes a number of unrelated
items. Latin (for all).

5. ingenuity - B: Cleverness; inventive skill; resourceful-
ness; as, the cat's ingenuity in opening the refrigerator
door. Latin ingeniosus (gifted with genius).

6. canon - C: Guiding principle used as a standard; as,
canons of good taste. Also, sacred writings of the Bible.
Greek kanon (measuring rod).

7. parlance - D: Manner or style of speaking or writing; as,
legal parlance; my grandmother's quaint parlance. Old French
parler (to speak).

8. muster - A: To assemble or bring together; summon up; as,
to muster troops for inspection; muster courage. Latin
monstrare (to show).

9. personable - C: Attractive; having a pleasing manner; as,
a personable salesclerk. Latin persona (person, character).

10. concave - D: Curving inward; as, the interesting concave
shape of an antique bottle. Latin concavus (hollow).

11. infatuation - C: Temporary, unreasoning and shallow
passion; as, a teenager's infatuation with a rock star. Latin
infatuare (to make foolish).

12. forfeit - B: To be forced to give up something; to be
penalized for wrongdoing. Middle English forfet (crime).

13. query - A: To question; express doubts as to correctness;
as, to query a company's claim about the benefits of a
product. Latin quaerere (to ask).

14. intergalactic - D: Occurring or existing between
galaxies; as, intergalactic travel in science fiction. Latin
inter- (between) and English galactic, from Greek galaktikos
(milky; derivation for Milky Way).

15. steadfast - D: Unwavering; as, a steadfast gaze. Also
loyal and constant; as, a steadfast friend. Old English

16. permutation - A: Alteration or change; complete
rearrangement; as, political permutations in Eastern Europe.
Latin per- (through) and mutare (to change).

17. rookery - C: Breeding place of birds, seals or other
animals; as, a rookery teeming with penguins. English rook
(black European crow).

18. ransack - D: To search thoroughly and vigorously; as,
to ransack a room for a document; also, to plunder. Old
Norse rann (house) and -saka (to search).

19. infamous - D: Having a bad reputation; notorious; as,
No nation can trust that infamous dictator. Latin in (not)
and fama (fame).

20. inkling - C: Slight indication; hint; intimation; as,
She had no inkling of his true intentions. Middle English
inclen (to hint).


Word Quiz - 2.21.6

Here's your brand new Reader's
Digest Word
Power quiz. Today's
quiz features words from The

Complete Calvin and Hobbes.

1. veritable (adj.) - A: not false. B: cannot be proven.
C: imaginary. D: green in color.

2. cretin (n.) - A: shoehorn. B: clod. C: oily liquid.
D: clump.

3. assent (n.) - A: long climb upward. B: suggestion.
C: sentence fragment. D: agreement.

4. perpetrate (v.) - A: to commit. B: ponder. C: pass along.
D: pierce partially.

5. serene (adj.) - A: turbulent. B: calm. C: injectable, as
with medicine. D: ancient.

6. provocation (n.) - A: act of being dishonest. B: act of
showing sorrow. C: act of inciting. D: act of raising one
above another.

7. onslaught (n.) - A: sneak attack. B: air attack. C: fierce
attack. D: retreat.

8. harbinger (n.) - A: sign. B: warning. C: celebration.
D: carrying case.

9. trajectory (n.) - A: flying object. B: stationary object.
C: fixed point. D: path.

10. imminent (adj.) - A: first among many. B: ready to take
place. C: greatly delayed. D: innermost.

11. malign (v.) - A: to knock out of whack. B: to fake ill-
ness or injury. C: speak ill of. D: convert.

12. surmise (v.) - A: to infer. B: condense. C: remove
carefully. D: startle.

13. tripe (n.) - A: type of fish. B: leafy green vegetable.
C: worthless thing. D: treasured item.

14. calibrate (v.) - A: hide. B: adjust precisely. C: capture
the attention of. D: calculate.

15. spelunking (n.) - A: act of proving false. B: type of
cake frosting. C: boat part. D: hobby of exploring caves.

16. mandible (n.) - A: a sharp tooth. B: beggar. C: jaw.
D: unusual request.














Here are the answers
(with quotes from Calvin and Hobbes):

1. veritable - A: Being in fact the thing named; not false
or imaginary. "Together, a veritable fist of defiance, we
stand immune to any onslaught."

2. cretin - B: Clod; stupid or vulgar person. "...and you
babble like a cretin until she leaves."

3. assent - D: Agreement, especially after thoughtful
consideration. "Dad will look at Mom and say,/'Too bad he
had to go that way.'/And Mom will look at Dad and nod

4. perpetrate - A: To commit, carry out. "By removing my
clothing, I can perpetrate any crime undetected."

5. serene - B: Calm; tranquil; free of storms. "Tragically,
this serene metropolis lies directly beneath the Hoover Dam."

6. provocation - C: Act of inciting, stirring up. "At the
slightest provocation, we'll let loose a merciless barrage
of stinging ice."

7. onslaught - C: An especially fierce attack; something
resembling such an attack. "...we stand immune to any

8. harbinger - A: Sign of things to come. "Comets are
harbingers of doom."

9. trajectory - D: Path; progression. "Houston, we have
negative on that orbit trajectory."

10. imminent - B: Ready to take place. "The alien, being
unnaturally stupid, is blissfully ignorant of its imminent

11. malign - C: To speak ill of. "Ooh! An insult! I've been
maligned! I'll never speak to you again."

12. surmise - A: To infer on slight grounds. "Only then will
they surmise/the gruesomeness of my demise/and see that my
remains are in a heap."

13. tripe - C: Something poor, worthless, offensive. Also, a
cud-chewing animal's stomach lining, used as food. "When
you're old, you'll wish you had more than memories of this
tripe to look back on."

14. calibrate - B: To adjust precisely; to standardize by
correcting a deviation from the norm. "Spaceman Spiff, bold
interplanetary explorer, spies a Zarg. Spiff calibrates his
blaster. Ready...aim..."

15. spelunking - D: The hobby or practice of exploring caves.
"Want to go spelunking with me?" "Spelunking?" There aren't
any caves around here."

16. mandible - C: Jaw, especially a lower jaw made of a
single bone. "Ha! Beneath that soft exterior lie terrible
mandibles of bone-crushing death. He'll grind you into

gopher central


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My Life


Many many years ago
when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow
who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter
who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
and soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa.


Party Riddles
Print Out
For Your Next Party

1) Can you figure out these well known proverbs?

A) A rotating fragment of mineral collects no bryophytic plants.

B) Under no circumstances compute the number of your
barnyard fowl previous to their incubation.

C) A feathered biped in the terminal part of the arm
equals in value a pair of feathered bipeds in densely
branched shrubbery.

D) Everything is legitimate in matters pertaining to ardent
affection and armed conflict between nations.

2) I know a thousand faces,
and count the tailed heads,
feasting bright upon the eyes,
of many who have died.
wielding well a mighty power,
who hath but humble stature.
Masses fall upon their knees,
to scare behold my only side!

3) When I'm used, I'm useless,
once offered, soon rejected.
In desperation oft expressed,
the intended not protected.
What am I?

4) Half-way up the hill, I see thee at last
Lying beneath me with thy sounds and sights --
A city in the twilight, dim and vast,
With smoking roofs, soft bells, and gleaming lights.

5) If you have it you want to share it. If you share it you won't
have it. What is it?

6) Can you unscramble the names of the dinosaurs in Part 1
and match them with their facts in Part 2?

Part 1

a. Eouspltarasu
b. Paroeotr
c. Solrausukyan
d. Tosrebalausur
e. Rosbaursua
f. Gospmocsuthna

Part 2

a. Plant eater from the Triassic Period.
b. Meat eater from the Triassic Period.
c. Plant eater from the Cretaceous Period.
d. Meat eater from the Cretaceous Period.
e. Plant eater from the Jurassic Period.
f. Meat eater form the Jurassic Period.

7) If Gary lives in Budapest, and Stan lives in Kabul, where
does Mark live?

HINT: What countries are the cities in?















1) A) A rolling stone gathers no moss.
B) Never count your chickens before they are hatched.
C) A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
D) All's fair in love and war.

4) The past, Longfellow
5) A secret.

6) a. Plateosaurus: Plant eater from the Triassic Period.
b. Eoraptor: Meat eater from the Triassic Period.
c. Ankylosaurus: Plant eater from the Cretaceous Period.
d. Albertosaurus: Meat eater from the Cretaceous Period.
e. Barosaurus: Plant eater from the Jurassic Period.
f. Compsognathus: Meat eater form the Jurassic Period.

7) Copenhagen

Each person's name is the end of the name of the country
in whose capital city they live.

Budapest, Hungary
Kabul, Afghanistan
Copenhagen, Denmark



Wednesday's Riddles

1) A poet visited a prisoner he had not seen for so many years.
On his way out, the guard asked him what his relation to the
prisoner he just visited. The man, being a poet, responded
in this manner:

"Brothers nor sisters I do not have;
but the father of that man [pointing
his finger to the prisoner] is the
son of my father."

2) I am just two and two, I am warm, I am cold,
And the parent of numbers that cannot be told.
I am lawful, unlawful, a duty, a fault,
I am often sold dear, good for nothing when bought.
An extraordinary boon, and a matter of course,
And yielded with pleasure when taken by force.
Alike the delight of the poor and the rich,
Though the vulgar is apt to present me his breech.

3) What 5 letter word typed in all capital letters can
be read the same upside down?

Answers in "comments"

Really Corny V-Day Questions

What did the boy elephant say to
the girl elephant on Valentine's Day?

I love you a ton!

What did the boy bat say to the girl
bat on Valentine's Day?

You're fun to hang around with!

What did the boy cat say to the
girl cat on Valentine's Day?

You're purrr-fect for me!

What did the boy pickle say to
the girl pickle on Valentine's Day?

You mean a great dill to me!

What did the boy bird say to the
girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!

What did the boy squirrel say to
the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?

I'm nuts about you!

What did the girl squirrel say to
the boy squirrel on Valentine's Day?

You're nuts so bad yourself!

What did the boy rabbit say to the
girl rabbit on Valentine's Day?

Some bunny likes you!

What did the letter say to the stamp?
You send me

What did the stamp say to the envelope?
I'm stuck on you.

What do you call a very small valentine?
A valentiny!

What does a man who loves his car do on
February 14?

He gives it a Valenshine!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Emma who?
Emma hoping I'll get lots of Valentine cards!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Jimmy who?
Jimmy a little kiss?

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Atlas who?
Atlas Valentine's Day is here!


Thursday's Riddles

1) I know a thousand faces,
and count the tailed heads,
feasting bright upon the eyes,
of many who have died.
wielding well a mighty power,
who hath but humble stature.
Masses fall upon their knees,
to scare behold my only side!

2) Can you decipher this famous saying?

That prudent avis which matutinally deserts the coziness
of its abode will ensnare a vermiculate creature.

3) To win this game, find the 9-letter word that is spelled
out using one silent letter from each of the words below.
The first word gives you the first letter, and so on.


4) Wheresoever I may be,
Every man must follow me;
He must go where I may lead,
Though it be to change his creed.
Though I vary in my size,
I am still beneath your eyes;
and though you may go astray,
I must ever lead the way.
Every creature in the land,
Has me close at his command,
For I lead to things unseen,
By my properties so keen.

What am I?

5) With no wings, I fly.
With no eyes, I see.
With no arms, I climb.
More frightening than any beast,
stronger than any foe.
I am cunning, ruthless, and tall;
in the end, I rule all.

What am I?

6) My first is in add, but not in take,
My second's in joint, but not in steak,
My third is in stack, but not in heap,
My fourth is in thick, but not in deep,
My fifth is in veal, but not in lamb,
My sixth is in ounce, but not in dram,
My seventh's in smile, but not in frown,
My whole is a writer of highest renown.
Who am I?

7) My name is five letters long,
I bring pain and suffering
but also happiness and peace.
I can bring heaven or hell
What am I?

8) My last four letters denote a conservative.
I am an 'established record.' What am I?

9) What is the only way to Heaven???

Answers in "comments"


Riddles 2.10.6

1) It fell from a star,
But not very far.
It seems to fly
Above you and I.
Look further down to see
Cousin Jay below us three.
Jump down further to see an empty space.
Tell me what "it" is, and where is this place?

2) We are in beauty,
But not in handsome
We are in you,
But not in she
One of us is in pretty,
But both of us are in ugly
Please tell who are we?

3) What does this riddle represent?

To be here is unpleasant, that is for sure.
Life is usually hidden and often a blur.

But just add an "s" and things change so fast.
Sweet replaces heat of the now recent past.

4) I'm called a man,
But I'll never have a wife.
I was given a body,
But not given life.
They made me a mouth,
But I wasn't given breath.
Water gives body,
And sun gives me death.
What am I?

5) I am Loud or quiet.
I am sudden or expected.
I am a strong medication.
I am a relief in certain situations.
I am caused by embarrassment and/or happiness.
I am found in many good friendships.
I am .......

6) Which state abbreviation's name has nothing in it?

7) I eat, I breathe, I move so much
I leave you tender to the touch.
Within me lies help or harm for you
But one rarely predicts what I will do.
I move around, yet have no legs
and multiply, but lay no eggs.
My colors change as I get intense
But I keep no form, in my defense.
What am I?















1) The number 8 on a keyboard.
2) u and y
4) A snowman
5) Laugh/Laughter (see 'T & H')
6) Montana (MT) - sound it out... M T -
.....empty or nothing
7) Fire

Please give us your score in the
"comments" section just below.


# Correct

7) Wolfpack Grad
4-6) Harvard, Stanford, Yale or Duke Grad
3) UNC Student
2) UNC Grad
0-1) UNC Prof

Source: The Daily Tease


Word Quiz 2.6.6

All the words below appear in science fiction
stories. How many do you know?

1. verbatim (adj.) - A: talkative. B: unusual. C: exceedingly
green. D: word for word.

2. chirrup (n.) - A: leather stirrup. B: cherry-flavored
cough syrup. C: chirp. D: warm breeze.

3. pince-nez (n.) - A: kind of candy. B: type of eyeglasses.
C: princely robe. D: crab's claws.

4. prosaic (adj.) - A: dull. B: prehistoric. C: legal in
nature. D: rhyming.

5. deduce (v.) - A: to trim. B: form into pairs. C: infer.
D: prepare for cooking.

6. forestall (v.) - A: to lie in front of. B: hinder.
C: warn. D: abandon.

7. sluice (n.) - A: passage for water. B: strawberry-lime
soft drink. C: very thin slice. D: comfort.

8. tremulous (adj.) - A: related to an earthquake. B: gigan-
tic. C: high-pitched. D: affected with trembling.

9. buttress (v.) - A: to link, as a bridge. B: strengthen.
C: sit up in bed. D: increase by half.

10. crystalline (adj.) - A: breakable. B: futuristic.
C: minuscule. D: sparkling.

11. subside (v.) - A: to sink or fall. B: exert control.
C: exist on very little. D: underestimate.

12. aberration (n.) - A: refusal to consider. B: unsound-
ness. C: unwavering concentration. D: constant nagging.

13. proficiency (n.) - A: offensive slang. B: motel room
with hot plate. C: unusual talent. D: advancement in skill.

14. cower (v.) - A: to intimidate. B: shrink away.
C: manipulate through flattery. D: call out to.

15. thrum (v.) - A: to make a monotonous sound.
B: pull
toward with one's thumb. C: drag. D: unload.

16. erratic (adj.) - A: by design. B: in sequence.
C: characterized by inconsistency. D: irrelevant.














Here are the answers:

1. verbatim - D: Word for word; being in or following the
exact words. Don't blame me - I'm repeating Dad's instruct-
ions to you verbatim.

2. chirrup - C: Chirp. The morning quiet was disturbed only
by the odd chirrup of a nearby robin.

3. pince-nez - B: Eyeglasses clipped to the nose by a spring.
The librarian peered at me over the lenses of his pince-nez
and said "That book is two years overdue."

4. prosaic - A: Dull, unimaginative; also, everyday,
ordinary. Unfortunately, I'll spend the weekend doing a
bunch of prosaic chores.

5. deduce - C: Infer from a general principle. When my son
said he hated cereal, I deduced that I needed to fix a
different breakfast.

6. forestall - B: Exclude or hinder; also, to obstruct;
beset. I planned to forestall his leaving by asking him to
shine my shoes.

7. sluice - A: Artificial passage for water fitted with a
valve or gate for repeating flow. Once the sluice opened,
we pretty much got soaked.

8. tremulous - D: Characterized by or affected with tremb-
ling or tremors, such as might be caused by nervousness or
shakiness. His tremulous smile told me he wasn't as relaxed
as he hoped to appear.

9. buttress - B: Strengthen; support. I think you should try
to buttress your opinion with a few small facts.

10. crystalline - D: Sparkling; strikingly clear; resembling
crystal. Gazing at the crystalline lake, I decided it was
too beautiful to swim in.

11. subside - A: Sink or fall to the bottom; settle; also,
to become quiet; diminish. Once my initial anger subsided, I
began laughing at all those pancakes stuck to the wall.

12. aberration - B: Unsoundness; that which departs signifi-
cantly from the standard. Sleeping with your pillow beneath
your feet would be considered something of an aberration.

13. proficiency - D: Quality or state of being advanced;
highly skilled. You show real proficiency in the art of
making the perfect pizza.

14. cower - B: Shrink away or crouch, especially from some-
thing that menaces or dismays. Horror movies always make me
cower in my seat.

15. thrum - A: To sound with a monotonous hum. Suddenly,
a loud vibration began to thrum the wall I was leaning against.

16. erratic - C: Characterized by lack of consistency,
regularity or order. His erratic behavior convinced me he
wouldn't be reliable in the job.

gopher central


Which center ball is larger?
Neither, they are equal!

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Thought &


* * * Four important things to KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.

God loves you so much that He died for you!!!

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