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Editor of 'Thought & Humor'
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up to two million weekly in
offices, dorms & homes worldwide since July 26,1997).

Monday

Riddles For 10.31.5



1) Not born, but from a Mother's body drawn,
I hang until half of me is gone.
I sleep in a cave until I grow old,
then valued for my hardened gold.
What am I?

2) I must admit that I was not serious when I was telling you
that I was not kidding about rethinking my decision of not
changing my mind," my friend was telling me. So, is he really
going to change his mind or not?

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ANSWERS!!!

1) Cheese

2) He will not change his mind.

Wednesday

Riddles For 10.26.5

The image “http://www.simplsystems.com/images/girl_thinking.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

1) I can bring a smile to your face,
a tear to your eye,
or even a thought to your mind;
but I can't be seen...

2) What type of room has neither
window, door, ceiling, nor floor?

3) Which does not belong in this group:
Apple, grape, banana, cherry, pear.

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ANSWERS:

1) A memory
2) A mushROOM
3) Banana. It's the only one that
needs to be peeled before eating.

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Tuesday

Tornado?

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Q. Where do you go in Chapel Hill in case of a tornado?
A. UNC Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!

Monday

Riddles For 10.24.5

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1) I never was, am always to be.
No one ever saw me, nor ever will.
And yet I am the confidence of all,
To live and breathe on this terrestrial ball.
What am I?

2) What always runs but never walks,
Often murmurs, never talks,
Has a bed but never sleeps,
Has a mouth but never eats?

3) What walks on four legs in the morning,
two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

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ANSWERS:

1) Tomorrow
2) A River
3) A man who crawls on all fours as an infant,
walks upright in the prime of his life, and often
uses a cane in his old age.

Saturday

What Did The Acorn Say???




What did the acorn say when
he became an adult???

Geometry!!!


Wednesday

Riddles For 10.19.5

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1) All that I see, is all that I want
Yet what I see is nothing I need
I am pleased with nothing, and so seek I must do
Until my desire is quenched, I'll never be through.

What am I?

2) I am as light as a bird and as lovely flower.
I sometime last from year to year,
and sometime but an hour.
I stop the swiftest railroad train,
I break the strongest tree
but yet I am afraid of fire.
Children play with me.

What am I?

3) I dig out tiny caves, and store gold and silver
in them. I also build bridges of silver and make
crowns of gold. They are the smallest you could
imagine. Sooner or later everybody needs my
help, yet many people are afraid to let me help them.

Who am I?

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ANSWERS:


1) Greed
2) Snow
3) A Dentist

Saturday

Riddles For 10.15.5

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1) Over on the hill there is a little green house.
Inside the green house there is a little white house.
Inside the little white house there is a little red house.
Inside the little red house there are a lot of little babies.

What is it?

2) To some I can hold treasure,
To others most displeasure.
I am always near you,
Yet always far.
I am done when I begin,
And begin when I end.

What am I?

3) If you have it you want to share it.
If you share it you won't have it.
What is it?

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ANSWERS:

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1) A Watermelon
2) The Future
3) A Secret

Friday

Moving The Office

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The orthopedic surgeon I work
for was moving to a new office,
and
his staff was helping transport
many of the items. I sat the display

skeleton in the front of my car, his
bony arm across the back of my seat.


I hadn't considered the drive across
town. At one traffic light, the
stares
of the people in the car beside me
became obvious, and I looked
across
and explained, "I'm delivering him to
my doctor's office."


The other driver leaned out of his
window. "I hate to tell you, lady,"

he said, "but I think it's too late!"


Wednesday

Question For You

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What did the mama buffalo say to the little
buffalo when he went off to college?


Scroll Down For Answer!!!

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ANSWER:

"Bison"

Tuesday



My friend Judy was working at
a Maine costal resort
when she
answered a call for information
about the inn.
After finishing the
conversation, Judy stepped away
from
the desk. When the phone
rang again, a student intern

took the call.



"I forgot to ask something."
the caller said, "How are the

rooms appointed?"



"Well, six of them are appointed
west," the student said,
"and the
rest are appointed east."


Thursday

Riddles For 10.6.5

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1) The queen of death; she crawls on your stairs,
She's always so lonely, no mate in her lair.
Her children, they leave home with such haste
For fear that their blood this new mother will taste.
On silken cord, her daughters await,
For men in their homes meet a similar fate.
Dark as new moon, her crimson belly tells time,
Her mate is passed on, he won't tell of her crime.
If you see the black maiden, you must run in fear
One prick from her needles and pain is quite near.

2) The more you take, the more you leave behind.
What are they?

3) Rearrange these letters to form five different
8-letter words:

A E G I L N R T

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Answers:

1) A black widow spider
2) Footsteps
3) ALERTING, ALTERING,
INTEGRAL, RELATING, TRIANGLE

Wednesday

Riddle For 10.5.5

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At times we wish for it
and at times we don't.
It is never here
but sometimes we want it to be.
I am not a thing
I am not an imagination
I will never be here

What am I?

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Answer:

Tomorrow

Question For You

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My first is in west, but not in east.
My second is in east, but not in west.
My third is in tag, but not in bag.
My fourth is in east, but in west too this time.
My fifth is in result, but not in test.
I am very needed for every life, what am I?

Answer!!!

Tuesday

Riddles For 10.4.5

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1) I have two heads but only one body.
The more still I stand, the faster I run.

What am I?

2) What unusual property do the words FLOUR,
TERN, and THIRSTY
have in common?

3) You can have a lot of it

You can not have enough of it
You can waste it but you can never
get it back.

4) The below classified ads were spotted in
this week's
newspaper. They all share a
common feature.


What is that common feature, and who
is each ad's author?


A. Crimson cloaked young female seeks
protection services. Task include food
courier service. Outdoor experience a

plus. Inquire with grandmother.

B. For Sale: 20 mattresses. Like new,
used only once. Each shares common
irregularity, not discernible by most.
Make offer.


C. For Sale: Two adjacent lots. Located
near new brick housing. Land can be
cleared of debris upon request. Will

build to suit.

D. Debris removal services required.
Have large amounts of vegetation
that requires cut up and removal.
Please call for details. Gold or
specialty hybrid seeds available
for trade.


E. Lost: 1 Slipper, translucent in color.
Sentimental value. Last seen, yesterday
before midnight. Please leave message

with stepmother.


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Answers:

1) An hourglass

2) Remove one letter from each word, and they
all spell a
numeral. Four, ten and thirty.

3) Time

4) All the ads are all from fairy tale characters.

A. Grandmother (Little Red Riding Hood)
B. The Old Queen (Princess & the Pea)
C. The 3rd little pig (3 Little Pigs)
D. Jack's widowed mom (Jack and the Beanstalk)
E. Cinderella's stepmother (Cinderella)


Question For You

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Can you name this person???


Actor, Singer. Major League Baseball Team Owner.
Known by
many as "The Singing Cowboy," he is best
remembered for his
songs "Rudolph the Red-nosed
Reindeer," and his theme song,
"Back in the Saddle
Again." His first film was "In Old Santa
Fe" (1934),
and the following year, he was in a movie serial,

"The Phantom Empire" (1935), following which he
signed a
contract with Republic Pictures. His films
in the 1930s and
1940s literally defined the B-Western
film, despite cars,
airplanes and other modern devices
in them. He wrote over
200 songs during his lifetime.
A shrewd businessman, He
invested wisely and retired
from show business in the late
1950s, a self-made
millionaire.

His gasoline company, Flying
A, takes its name from his
interest in flying and the letter
of his last name. In 1983,
he bought the California
Angels baseball team.

Died: October 2, 1998
Born: September 29, 1907

ANSWER!!!

Monday

Riddles For 10.3.5

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1) I walk, but have no legs. I sleep,
but never dream. You can rock me
in a cradle, but I am not a babe and
I can go around the world faster than
you can cross a room. What am I?

2) A different fruit is buried in each
of the following lines.

Can you spot them? (1/line)


Ah! If I get my good ship home
I'll find a tempting rural spot
Where mayhap pleasant flowers will bloom,
And there I'll shape a charming cot.

Where bees sip nectar in each flower,
And Philomel on hawkthorn rests
I'll shape a rustic, sun-kissed bower--
A bower meet for angel guests.

Then she who lives and loves with me,
Cheering our days of calm repose,
Sole monarch of the flowers will be--
For Myra is indeed a rose.

3) Mr. Smith left on a trip the day
after the day before yesterday, and
he will be back the eve of the day
after tomorrow. How many days is
he away?

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ANSWERS:

1) A yo-yo
2) Fig, date, apple, peach,
nectarine, melon, pear, orange,
olive, gourd, lemon, raisin
3) Three days and two nights.
Using today as your starting point,
he would have left yesterday and
will return home tomorrow.




Q: How can you tell a UNC grad
......has been at a computer?

HERE!!!


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* * * Four important things to KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.


God loves you so much that He died for you!!!















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