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Editor of 'Thought & Humor'
E-mail Newspaper (Read by
up to two million weekly in
offices, dorms & homes worldwide since July 26,1997).


While You Were Gone

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University Grads

Michigan State University

The MSU graduate with a Science degree asks,

"Why does it work?"

iWon Sports My Way!

The NCSU graduate with an Engineering degree
asks, "How does it work?"

University of Georgia

The UGA graduate with an Accounting degree asks,
"How much will it cost?"

iWon Sports My Way!

A UNC graduate with an Arts degree asks,
"Do you want fries with that?"

Riddle 2.1.5

1) "I know a word of letters three,
add two and fewer there will be."
So, what's the word?

2) What is so fragile that when you say its
name you break it?

3) The first is foremost legally
The second circles outwardly
The third leeds in victory
The last twice ends a nominee
What am I?

4)Count the number of "F"'s in the following text:


Got it?
(Scroll down)

Spirit Of Diversity

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Battle Of The Sexes

Nobody will ever win the Battle
of the Sexes.
There's just too
much fraternizing with the enemy.

Howdy's Driveway

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Reference These Sites:

The Hubble Space Telescope can photograph images from farthest
space. Check pictures of exploding stars and black holes.

Remember paint by numbers? Pick a color and fill the appropriate
part of the picture. Choose from several cool pictures.

Detective Retirement

A detective who spent his entire career in plain
clothes quit the police force and bought a farm.

"What kind of crops do you plan to grow?"
the police chief asked the farmer-to-be.

"Carrots and potatoes," the man replied.

"Why carrots and potatoes?" asked the chief.

"Because," answered the ex-detective, . . .
"I'm very fond of undercover crops."


Clean Out Your Cubicle

Visiting Boston

A UNC football player was visiting a Yankee
relative in Boston over the holidays. He went
to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He
was attempting to start up a conversation
with the line, "Where do you go to school?"

"Yale," she replied.

The UNC student took a big, deep breath
and shouted,



National Champion

A very large, old, building was being torn down
in Chapel Hill, N.C.
to make room for a new dorm.
While working on the 9th floor, two
workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind
elevator shaft. They decided that they should
call the police. When
the police arrived they directed
them to the closet and showed them
the skeleton
fully clothed and standing upright. They said, "This

could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important."

Two days went by and the construction workers
couldn't stand it any more, they had to know who
they had found. They called the police and said,
"We are the two guys who found the skeleton in
the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy
Hoffa or somebody important."

The police said, "It's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was
somebody kind of important."

"Well, who was it?"

"The 1956 UNC National Hide-and-Seek Champion."

Don't Try This At Home

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture
with a note of caution. "You don't want to
try these techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.

"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast
for years," the expert explained. "She made
lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove,
table and cabinets, often carrying a single
item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon,

why don't you try carrying several things
at once?'"

"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.

"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used
to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast.
Now I do it in seven."

New Dentist

While waiting for her first appointment
in the reception room of a new (for her)
dentist, a UNC grad noticed the dentist's
certificate on the wall , which bore his
full name.

Suddenly, she remembered that a tall,
handsome boy
with the same name had
been in her university class almost 20
years ago.

Upon seeing him, however, she quickly
discarded any such thought. This balding,
gray-haired man with the deeply lined

face was too old to have been her
classmate, she thought.

After he had examined her teeth, she asked
him if he had attended UNC.

"Yes," he replied.

"When did you graduate?" she asked.

He answered, "In 1983."

"Why, you were in my class!" she exclaimed.

He looked at her closely and then asked,
"What did you teach?"

Pizza Delivery

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay,
they'd be bagels.

Weekend Riddles 1.29.5

1) A woman went to visit her bank manager and
she took her
young daughter with her. The bank
manager said that the
woman's daughter could
stay with his secretary during the
meeting. When
the woman and her daughter left, the
turned to the other secretary and said to her,

"That little girl was my daughter." How could
that be?

2) Who worked at 17 Cherry Tree Lane, London?
A) Mary Poppins
B) Queen Elizabeth I
C) Sherlock Holmes
D) Winston Churchill

3) What's the only play of Shakespeare to mention America?
A) Comedy of Errors
B) Hamlet
C) Macbeth
D) Tempest

Answers located at Howdy's other BLOG:

Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains...

A UNC grad tells his psychiatrist,
"Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains."

The shrink replies, "Come now,
pull yourself together."

Where' Grandma

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The military has roll call - you know, reading
out the names to see if everybody's there.
When our family has a get-together - like
Mom, Dad, Grandma, Granddad, and
grandchildren - we don't have roll call.
But we do have one three-year-old
grandson who takes roll in his own
little way. While we're all busy in the
usual chatter and bustle of everyone
catching up, our grandson is obviously
evaluating who's there and who isn't.
You can tell. Before very long, he pipes
up, "Where's Grandma?" or "Where's
Daddy?" or whoever happens to be MIA
at the moment. And he wants answers
about where they are and why they aren't
there. He wants every person in the family
to be there!

MORE: http://xrl.us/ewjp

LISTEN: http://xrl.us/ewjo


The Interview

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Larry King was once asked whom he would
interview if he could choose any person
across time. He quickly responded, "Jesus
Christ," noting that he would ask if Jesus
was indeed virgin born. "For me,"
explained King, "that would order all
of history." In a similar vein, Bertrand
Russell, the renowned agnostic philosopher,
was once asked what he would say if he

found himself standing in front of God.
Russell immediately answered that
would assert, "You did not give us
enough evidence."

MORE: http://xrl.us/ewjs

Letters To Howdy

Dearest Howdy,
Please keep on sending me your letters -
it made my day

Like a few others, I have no idea how my address
got on this list, but it's nice to see good ol' Luther
College getting some recognition. Usually I just
delete long, unsolicited emails (67 K for jokes?),
but I'm glad I actually read this one! Although
I generally dislike HTML mail, most of your
jokes are worth it. Thanks!

Bret (Luther College '87)

I love getting your newsletter. I'm not sure how
I got on the list, but keep it coming. In the last
one, a couple people wrote about being Luther
College grads. I am too! Small World. I'm sure
you could think up some good jokes using Luther!
Let me know if you need any help.

Keep the humor coming. Everyone needs a good laugh.
GO Norse!



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* * * Four important things to KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.

God loves you so much that He died for you!!!

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